2012 was the year that I discovered my ‘elbow’ . . . I mean the band ‘Elbow’ from Manchester, England. I’m sure all of you that discovered an artist at just the right time can relate to the ‘my’ part of my discovery . . . you feel in listening to an artist’s melodies and words a sense of connection, even ownership. My electric guitarist, and friend since childhood, Brian Thiessen has mentioned this band to me several times over the years, but I never actually checked them out until the summer of 12. It was actually seeing them streamed into my living room from the iTunes Festival in London that did it. Their songs and albums are an intriguing mix of almost theatrical songs (the song structure is not the classic verse chorus pop song – they love tempo and big mood changes halfway through – listen to the brilliant ‘The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver’ to see what I mean). Guy Garvey (their lead singer whose voice will melt you if you have any affinity for Peter Gabriel) uses his words and melodic sung lines like paint – to me they seem to be written more for how the words sound, than what they mean . . . and for someone like me that’s more in the world of ‘meaning’ there is something wonderful about just enjoying the ‘sound of the words’ and being carried away by the music. Here’s hoping that I’m too late and that Elbow has multiple albums still ahead of them.

OK – on to my albums that most moved me this past year. They are primarily albums that came out in 2012 with the exception of Elbow. (In no particular order)

Coalmont   Chronicles EP

This is probably the best EP that almost all of you will have never heard of (unless you happen to live in Abbotsford, British Columbia and saw one of their live shows). This husband and wife duo is a stunning mix of grit and smooth, and huge dynamic range with both of their voices. The subject matter is fascinating too – 4 of the 5 songs are a poet’s take on intriguing prophets from ancient Israel. ‘Down in dust’ is about Jacob wrestling with the angel; ‘The most humble man’ is the Moses story set to music; ‘Rivers Rush’ is the David story and ‘Could you love once more’ is very intriguing – the musical tale of Samson standing between those pillars at the end of his life pleading with God to love him once more. Their music is completely original while at the same time you feel like they are musical cousins of ‘The Civil Wars’ and ‘Mumford & Sons’. Nate and Stephanie – I hope this is just the beginning!

Mumford & Sons  Babel

I loved their first album ‘Sigh no more’ and I love this one too. There’s some honest grit and colourful language in there, but it seems to be just what the song calls for.

I resonate with these words from ‘Holland Road’

But I’ll still believe though there’s cracks you’ll see,
When I’m on my knees I’ll still believe,
And when I’ve hit the ground, neither lost nor found,
If you’ll believe in me I’ll still believe.

Of Monsters And Men  My Head Is An Animal

I love my Joy! (Joy is one of our 17 year old twin girls and she has a knack of picking up on some great new music!) When she first mentioned this band from Iceland I had no idea who she was talking about . . . but I sure do now. Their vocal tone of layered voices is unique to them – and it’s great to listen to. Their music could be described as quirky, but I’m pretty sure if you give it some time, it will grow on you layer upon layer.

John Mayer Born and Raised

It’s sometimes frustrating that someone like this (apparently quite a rascal when it comes to his personal life) can make such beautiful and profound music. (Maybe, if the film Amadeus is to be believed at all, Mozart was his forerunner in this department). However, I still enjoy listening to his music for it’s often quite profound. Like the song ‘Shadow Days’

Did you know that you could be wrong
And swear you’re right
Some people been known to do it
All their lives

Hard times help me see

I’m a good man with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I’m right here, and I’m right now
And I’m hoping, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Thomas Newman Soundtrack from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

If you like the fusion of Indian and instrumental, I think you will find this soundtrack beautiful. (In soundtracks I usually end up skipping over the intense ones and making a playlist of the mellower pieces that lend themselves to better background music . . . though I should confess that music is never background for me . . . It’s impossible for music to be background if you are a musician and it’s what you are tuned into.)

Kyler England Electric Hum

She has this amazing blend of smooth warmth and angst in her voice. I’m not usually a fan of ‘electronic instrumentation’ but somehow her voice floating over top makes it all work. I listened to this album many times during the year. Kyler is one of the lead vocalists of a band, The Rescues, whose debut album ‘Let Loose The Horses’ I love.

Serena Ryder Harmony

A recent discovery (through a friend’s recommendation) and I am really enjoying it. Intelligent songwriting and a voice that is reminiscent of Adele. Another Canadian gem!

Bonnie Raitt Slipstream

This choice is likely influenced by the privilege I had to see her live this past summer. I was stunned that she, in her early 60’s could sound (and look) like she was still in her prime as a music artist. I’d heard that female voices start to fade by that age, but not Bonnie. Her voice has that ‘smoky’ sound (I hope she didn’t have to get that tone via literal means) and she still has a good range and knows just the right type of song to sing. My only disappointment with the album is that I didn’t hear more from her as a songwriter – though most of her career has been built on singing songs that other people wrote.

Les Miserables Highlights from the Motion Picture Soundtrack

Arriving on Christmas Day – this was a wonderful Christmas present for all of us Les Mis lovers. The cast was superb. It was amazing to get that close to the emotional moments in the story through the medium of film. Hugh Jackman . . . what an amazing Jean Valjean and Anne Hathaway – the song and scene of ‘I dreamed a dream’ is one of the most powerful I have ever seen and heard. The rest of the cast is spot on . . the only little niggling question I had was Russell Crowe in the role of Javert (not quite enough steel and menace for my taste.) Already looking forward to the Bluray release in 2013.

Elbow Seldom Seen Kid & Build A Rocket Boys

As I said in my intro – this was the year I discovered Elbow – especially these 2 albums (and their live show for the iTunes Festival). Here’s my selected playlist – my favourite way to listen to these albums back to back:

The Bones of You
Mirrorball
Grounds for Divorce
Weather to Fly (What an incredible song!)
The Loneliness of a Tower Crane Driver
One Day Like This
Friend of Ours
The Birds
Lippy Kids
With Love
Neat Little Rows
The Night Will Always Win
High Ideals
The River
Open Arms
Dear Friends

And to wrap it up, I’m going to include the lyrics to a song I wrote in response to the Sandy Hook massacre of innocent children. As this unthinkable tragedy happened in the season of advent – it awakens our deep longing for peace – especially peace for our innocent children, and it reminds me of the massacre of innocents from the original Christmas story.

Our Town (Peace on Earth)

The news rips through my heart

Twenty children dead

Innocent children

A mad man takes a gun

To make us all pay

Sandy Hook’s children

Violently taken

The flags at half mast

Our minds cannot grasp this senseless loss

The flags at half mast

Resolve is now cast until change comes

Our children need change now

Newtown is our town

Newtown is our town

Our children need love now

Newtown is our town

Newtown is our town

Our children need peace now

They need

Peace on earth

Peace on earth

For every boy and girl

Peace on earth

Peace on earth

All across our world

I recall the ancient news

The massacre of boys

Innocent babies

A mad king wields his sword

Because he’s afraid

Their harmless children

Violently taken

The sound of weeping

Rachel grieving for her own

A voice in Ramah

Unthinkable trauma; senseless loss

Her children are no more

Bethlehem’s our town

Bethlehem’s our town

Children need peace to grow

Newtown is our town

Newtown is our town

Our children need peace now

They need

Peace on earth

Peace on earth

For every boy and girl

Peace on earth

Peace on earth

All across our world

p.s. If you want to watch me sing a demo of this song in studio here it is:

James Morrison The Awakening
I’m very grateful for Thomas Sekinger, who popped James Morrison’s previous CD into the car while driving me around Winterthur, Switzerland on the Europe leg of my tour in October. I believe I had heard his voice before (likely the gorgeous song ‘Broken Strings’ with Nelly Furtado from his ‘Songs for you Truths for me’ album) Within seconds I said something that all us artists hate but can’t avoid; a ‘sounds like’ reference. “He sounds like the male Adele – old school music with a soulful voice!”
‘I won’t let you go’ could very well be the most beautiful love song of year – even my wife loves it (Joyce is not as taken by music as I am!) She says almost every time she hears this song . . . ‘I love this song!’ For indeed ‘this is no time to be alone!’

Adele 21
I bought this one on a whim within weeks of its release at a Starbucks while traveling on Vancouver Island. Her voice has something very special – it’s just real in every sense of the word. ‘Don’t you remember’ has a perfect build to it with such minimum fuss . . . and the subtle change at the half mark of the chorus with the accents and the change of time signature for a bar . . . is it deliberate or accidental genius at work? This is one of the rare times when an album is at the top of every pop music critic’s lists – and it’s also on mine! Maybe there is some hope for real music in the world of pop music after all!

The Civil Wars Barton Hollow
One of my favourite local singer-songwriters Joshua Hyslop (who was on my top list last year with his Cold Wind EP) was the first person that I heard mention this new folk duo back in the spring . . . and after previewing a couple of tracks on iTunes I had no problem pressing the ‘purchase now’ button. I could just tell this was the real thing!
I just love the way the phrase ‘Just don’t go without me’ pulls you in in ‘C’est la mort’ and their voices are so perfectly suited for each other and the harmonies so compelling, I don’t for a moment miss the band! Seeing them perform ‘Billie Jean’ on ‘Later with Jools Holland’ (via YOUTUBE) is an illustration of the power of arranging and simplicity and two human beings playing off of each other. Sometimes music should be just fun . . . and this is jawdroppingly so! (is that a word?)

Hayley Westenra Paradisio
I bought the physical CD of this project in Hong Kong on my November Asian tour (which apparently is still the main option there because there is no iTunes store or equal in most of Asia). I bought it for 2 reasons – her voice has such purity (my very first Hayley project I also bought as a physical CD while on tour – that time was in Ottawa about 8 years ago). The 2nd reason is that Ennio Morricone’s film scoring is stunning – and ‘Gabriel’s Oboe’ is one of the most beautiful pieces of melody ever written so I was so curious as to what would happen when you put this beautiful young woman and wrinkled old man together . . . and it turns out what you get is beautiful music!

Sara Groves Invisible Empires
For the last few years, I would have to say that Sara has been one of the only CCM (that’s Contemporary Christian Music in case you don’t know!) artists that I can listen to repeatedly. So I was looking forward to her new project and bought it immediately off of her website before it hit the stores. I’m not sure I would list it as my favourite project of hers . . . but anything she does is good and this one is solidly in rotation on my iPod along with her previous albums. Her words are full of insight into the human condition . . . like these from ‘I’ll wait’:

I can take my own vengeance
Make a war of all my pain
I can get my own insurance
Find a way to lay the blame
I can win the whole world
And lose my own soul
Holding on for dear life
Spinning out of control

How many wars . . . or just relational conflicts are birthed out of not knowing what to do with our pain . . . another reason we need to make room for lament. (But I digress!)

Owl City All things bright and beautiful
I took my teenage daughter to Adam’s concert in Vancouver . . . it was great! ‘Deer in the headlights’ is just plain fun . . . and the cameo by ‘Lights’ in the video makes me smile.

Mat Kearney Young Love
For me – Mat Kearney provided the soundtrack of summer 2011. As I said, I took my daughter to Owl City . . . who was is a great artist and so much fun . . . but the highlight of that evening for me personally was Mat’s opening set. I went home and bought the 2 albums of his I didn’t have including this one . . . and just loved it. ‘Ships in the night’ is such an amazing clever song, as is ‘Sooner or later’ – this album begs to played at 10 . . . but if you are driving be warned . . . you just may go over the speed limit! (no personal experience was used in making this comment!)

Love Shines Cathy Hardy
Cathy is a local Fraser Valley BC artist (and a friend) who has gone through some soul shaking suffering and continues to sing of the power of love. The song ‘Breathing Together’ is one of the deepest most profound songs. Very beautiful album – love that she writes some of her songs based on the pentatonic scale. http://cathyajhardy.com/

Muppets The Green Album
My kids (including my 12 year old special needs son Isaiah) love the Muppets . . . but maybe not as much as I do! I remember when I was a boy and we didn’t have a TV at home – I would walk up to my Grandma’s place through the forest half a mile away . . . just for another 30 minutes with my favourite puppets. On this album I love ‘Rainbow Connection’ and of the version of ‘Mahna Mahna’ by The Fray is hilarious (who would have thought that The Fray guys had that kind of humour in them?)

Spider-Man Turn off the dark
As someone who is currently developing a musical (Prodigal God) I’m always curious what is happening in the world of musicals. And of course, being a long time U2 fan meant the curiosity was unstoppable – I just had to hear the music. Some of it has to be seen, to be appreciated I’m sure . . . but a few of the songs are excellent just as they are. The last 2 songs ‘Rise Above 2’ and ‘Turn off the dark’ that close the album are stunning!

Where to begin?

I still have so much to learn. I feel like a child again . . . like a grown up sitting in a kindergarten sized desk feeling a little silly for putting up my hand – but I just need the basics of truth explained to me one more time.

What do we believe? Why do we believe it and what good does it do a hurting world in need of healing? Why is there so much violence in the world . . . if over half of the world says they believe in God . . . who is love?

From the first session the thin air was thick with truth.

Let me unpack the thin and thick for a moment – the retreat center where we met is somewhere around 8,000 feet high in the Colorado Rocky Mountains right on the border of the Rocky Mountain National Park . . . so my 45 year old body used to dwelling at sea level in British Columbia (and not in the best shape) was finding the air thin indeed. At times it felt hard to breathe – and the first 24 hours my headaches were bad enough that I lost a couple of hours of sleep the first night. Sometimes it was hard to concentrate and think clearly.

But the teaching was so rich and deep that enduring the thin air was a small price to pay for teaching that was stimulating and worldview expanding.

One of the things Miroslav is known for is the expounding of thick truth – in fact he uses those exact words in several of his books and articles. Here’s one from his article ‘Christianity & Violence’: “Thin” but zealous practice of the Christian faith is likely to foster violence; “thick” and committed practice will help generate and sustain a culture of peace.” (3/1/2002)

So much of the conflict and violence in our world is unnecessary – and Miroslav helps us understand how to step towards love – and he does that in a way that is deeply scholarly, yet completely accessible to someone like me. His own experiences of his childhood in Yugoslavia – and his eventual interrogation because of his beliefs and that the fact that he was the son of a pacifist Pentecostal minister (I didn’t know that those 2 could go together!) have tutored him to pursue the path of love – and we are all benefiting from the pain he went through.

Miroslav (and other theologians like NT Wright) along with all local pastors and authors (like Mark Buchanan & Brian Zahnd) are all about encouraging humans, who are made in the image of God, to flourish. Theologians and pastors are guardians of the wisdom that leads to living a flourishing life. It’s their (and our) calling to take an issue that moves people – and then shed the light of the gospel on it. It’s wrestling with the issues that people are wrestling with – and then serving those people with God’s truth.

One of the things that struck me (and I think Brian Zahnd took the lead in this discussion) is that individualism is like a type of shrapnel from the Protestant Reformation – and this has wounded us. For example we will now say to someone – go and read the scriptures . . . and then just do it. Yet in order to discern rightly what the scriptures are saying and what we are called to do, we need community.

But rather than coming together to wrestle with truth – we as a culture seem to only gather together to be entertained. We need a renewal of mindfulness. (Which sparked a question in me I didn’t have a chance to ask: ‘How do we make theology not boring but interesting to those raised on non-stop entertainment?’)

Brian Zahnd was an amazing person to host this; he’s a unique combination of a deep intellect and a lover of Bob Dylan songs (in other words he embraces poetry, mystery and clear reason). If you haven’t read his book ‘Unconditional’ you are missing something very good. I can hardly wait for his upcoming book called ‘Beauty will save the world’ (I believe it’s coming in Jan 2012). I have a feeling I will be encouraging every musician, artist and songwriter I know to read it.

Brian hosted most of the sessions (along with some help from Brad Jersak, a wonderful thinker and former pastor also from Abbotsford, and a pastor from Denver; Joe Beach) by setting the stage and then doing an interview with Miroslav at the end of his teaching presentation before opening it up to questions from the group of 50 people or so present.

In summary – one of the things I loved about Miroslav is he talked about everyday moments (like an embrace) and then used that as a jumping off point to explore the theological underpinnings of our very existence and how we are called to live.

Big transcendent thoughts about simple everyday moments we all have.

He taught that the purpose of justice is not justice . . .but a restoration of proper relationships . . .and proper relationships are relationships of love in community.

That made me realize that the purpose of theology is not theology . . . but a restoration of truth in our thoughts . . .and truth in our thoughts leads to a life that flourishes in every way.

Truth is the first casualty of war (and in most conflicts). Prejudice is a form of untruthfulness. We tell ourselves a story that is untrue.

Miroslav told a story about how his father would not allow his children to speak (or even think) untrue negative things about other people. Through that he learned that we could harm other people even by the untruthfulness we think.

It reminds me of this tough passage in Matthew 5.

27,28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The damage done to another (in this case a woman) is done by something internal in another without any action.

I’m so grateful for the chance to spend a number of days listening to amazing teaching on truth – and then having time to ponder it and interact with a small group of leaders about it. It was like a holiday for my mind – and when I remember that the likely roots of the word ‘holiday’ are ‘holy day’ then it was indeed the best kind of holiday (versus a vacation!)

Thank you to Brian & Miroslav for an incredible gift of thick truth!

p.s. Would you ever consider doing a retreat like that in thick air so that us sea level dwellers can skip the headaches?

However, I also like taking time to be thankful for many good things that have happened – and as an artistic creative person – to reflect and recommend some things that have encouraged and touched me this year.

So here goes!

Best experiences & highlights of 2010

Holland Tour – Late April 2010 Every time I get a chance to be with the Dutch people, I am grateful and humbled. I continue to have great hope and faith for the European nations and their expression of faith and love in our needy world.

Five day holiday in Barcelona (late April – early May) staying at Hotel 1898. Having 5 days to wander the Gothic Quarter and La Rambla with the wife of my youth was a incredible gift – eating some amazing gelato; attending an intimate ‘Spanish guitar’ concert in a small stone chapel, relaxing on the rooftop of our hotel overlooking the old city in the sunshine.

The Listening Party for Prodigal God on June 5, 2010. Even though I was a bundle of nerves – this was one of the best parties ever held at our place – and I’m so proud of everyone involved in this project. Even though it may turn out to be a commercial flop, it’s a project that I feel represents some of the best creative work I’ve ever been a part of.

Hosting Ed & Janet Piorek at the Shining Rose and doing the ‘Father heart weekend’ with them in late September in Abbotsford. Ed’s teaching was so formative for me as a new dad – and do something with him all these years later felt like an amazing gift.

Seminars 4 Worship ‘Glorious’ Events in 5 US cities with Paul Baloche and Kathryn Scott in Oct and Nov. I am so grateful to be part of something with not only Paul & Kathryn, (who are incredible people and worship leaders) but with the whole Integrity team. They were the ‘best run’ conferences I’ve ever been a part of!

(Here’s a random technology highlight)
The demo of the ‘Videowave’ TV at the BOSE store in Alabama (with Hans Groeneveld from Integrity International). It’s amazing when a company gets something so ‘right’ and BOSE nailed it with this one! Even though I don’t have 6 grand to buy one right now – I just enjoyed the pleasure of watching, hearing and admiring something so well done!

And the top one of the year:

My daughter Rachel getting engaged to Luke Vandevert on Sunday Nov 14 – looking forward to a wedding in July!

My favourite music of 2010

Not all of these albums were released in 2010 – but I discovered them in 2010 so that’s what matters to me.

1. Eastmountainsouth I know it’s not a new album (and the duo has since disbanded) but I start listening to them in the summer and I found their album matched the mood perfectly of this past autumn. Thanks Darryl (I love friends who pass on or recommend good music – what would life be without some great new tunes!)

2. Marc Cohn Listening Booth 1970 What a singer he is! Some great covers of classic songs.

3. Joshua Hyslop Cold Wind A stunning EP debut from a local lad (From Abbotsford B.C.) Check him out at www.joshuahyslop.com One to watch!

4. Lights The Listening What a stunning new artist – love the way she weaves potent truth into contemporary stylings – Saw her show in Oct at the Vogue in Vancouver. WOW!

5. Brooke Fraser – Flags The last song on her new CD is great! Also saw her in person this year (early Dec at ‘The Venue’ in Vancouver) The venue was actually not that great (nor was the sound) but still love who she is and her music.

6. Sara Bareilles – Kaleidoscope Heart Some stunning songs ‘The Light’ is incredible

7. Kathryn Scott We still believe The title song is worth the price of the album. I had the privilege of touring with her this fall in the eastern US – what a treasure she is!

8. JJ Heller Painted Red My daughter got this one – and it really helped keep me calm during the spring while working on the ‘Level Ground’ project.

9. Amy Grant Somewhere down the road It’s simply hard to underestimate the power of her voice – which continues to hold strong and clear after all these years. Love the opening track – ‘Better than a Hallelujah’

10. The Rescues Let loose the horses This is my latest purchase (again courtesy of Darryl) A very interesting blend of harmony vocals in a accessible rock/alternative/pop style. One of the things I love about this band is that it’s 2 men and 2 women and the combination is just stunning. The opening and title track just pulls you into the project. ‘Before the fall’ just riveted me from the first time I heard it. The final track ‘You’re not listening’ – wow – what a song! Thank goodness some real music is being made in the mainstream!

(Honorable Mention)
11. Jars of Clay The Shelter It was interesting to hear a CCM group do what I try and do all the time with my worship projects; feature other singers and artists.

Favourite Films of 2010

1. The King’s Speech. I just was so grateful for all the gifts and elements that came together to tell an important historical story. Just amazing!

2. The Social Network The music was very powerful – and it’s a clear look into the worldview behind ‘Facebook’ and all the social network sites.

3. Tangled I didn’t think Disney could do it again – but there was a lot of magic in this one. The floating lanterns were moving (especially thinking about what they were released each year for – parents looking for their missing child). Looking forward to seeing it again at home when it comes out on DVD!

4. Toy Story 3 Pixar continues to be the best of animation and this one is no exception – just brilliant.

5. Inception A fresh mind-bender. Keeps you guessing the thinking. It reminding me of what watching the first ‘Matrix’ film felt like when it came out.

6. The Book of Eli We had no idea what we were going to see when we saw it back in Jan 2010 . . but we walked out talking about it for a long time.

7. Secretariat One of my favourite things to do with a film is to visit another period of time – even if in this case it’s only 30 – 40 years ago. I loved the opening scene while the voice over is quoting from the book of Job.

8. ‘Tron – Legacy’ (which surprised me) I have to admit – I took Ben to this one thinking I would spend most of my time rolling my eyes – but I really enjoyed it.

9. Unstoppable – What I liked about this film is that there was no ‘bad guy’ – the antagonist was the train itself. And of course, Denzel is always good!

10. True Grit – I not usually a fan of Cohen brother’s films – but this one was likely as good as Western can get. The 14 year old girl was stellar – as was Matt Damon and Jeff Bridges. (During the holidays it was wild to see Jeff Bridges play two opposite roles within a week in this one and in Tron)

One of the ones that ‘got away’ that I wish was on my top 10 list was Narnia; Voyage of the Dawn Treader. It feels to me that the child-like wonder is almost gone – and they are trying too hard to be like ‘Lord of the Rings’. I wish they would target children more with the Narnia films (like CS Lewis did with the books) in some sort of whimsical fashion. Though I should add – Benjamin loves the Narnia films so I still enjoy seeing them and watching Ben smile!

Some of my favourite books:

Spiritual Rhythm by Mark Buchanan
Mark continues to write in a way that feeds and challenges me deeply. Having some personal time with him in the summer – and at his church in September was an added bonus.

The Skin Map by Stephen Lawhead
This wasn’t my favourite book by Lawhead (I felt like he was a little rushed and didn’t take enough time to develop characters) but hearing that there are 5 books in the series makes me more interested in seeing where it’s all going. And he has been my favourite fiction writer so I’m still with him. (Loved what he did with the HOOD trilogy!)

My favourite songs that I released as a songwriter and recording artist in 2010

It was an unusual year for me in that I released more tracks than any other year (Level Ground CD & DVD – 14 songs) and Prodigal God (26 tracks – 23 songs). So that’s 37 new songs released . . . not likely to happen again.

Here are my favourite out of that bunch!

1. No return (Prodigal God – Act Two) This duet I did with Colin Janz (Prodigal Son) as the ‘Elder Son’ is really the turning point of my heart – my breaking point.

2. Enter the rest of God (Level Ground) Maybe it’s just a message that I need over and over again – but the way this song came together in the writing and arranging – I know it won’t likely be the popular one from Level Ground – but it’s my favourite.

3. Will you love me in the winter? (Level Ground) I wrote this one in the 11th hour of prep for ‘Level Ground’ . . . but I carried this lyric idea around in my back pocket for about a decade.

4. Why am I leaving (Prodigal God – Act One) There’s something about the way this song builds into the round that makes it one of my favourite of the musical.

5. Welcome to the place of level ground (Level Ground) This song, when it came and was finished, let me know it was time to do this project.

And I shouldn’t leave out the songs I loved and turned to as a worship leader of a local church.

Worship songs: A record.

The song that I used the most was ‘You alone can rescue’ by Matt Redman. The list includes songs by Kathryn Scott, Josh Fox, Chris Tomlin, Paul Baloche, Brenton Brown, many others and yours truly.

My most used worship songs of the year: (top section in order of use)

You alone can rescue
Welcome to the place of level ground
The river
No condemnation
Amazing Grace (My chains are gone)
Hope of the nations
The Lord is gracious and compassionate
Mighty to save
At the foot of the cross
We still believe (Kathryn Scott)
Today (As for me and my house)
Jesus Reign (My hands are worn) (Josh Fox)
Broken & Beautiful (As we break this bread)

(Songs that I used once)
Altar of love
Arms of Love
Be the centre
Be thou my vision / Just as I am
Blessed be your name
Christ the Lord is risen today
Come now is the time to worship
Enter the rest of God
Everlasting
Everything (God in my living)
Faithful One
First
God of wonders (medley with) Give thanks
Glorious
Hallelujah (Your love is amazing)
Hosanna (Praise is rising)
Hosanna (Brooke Fraser)
I belong
I’ve found a love
I lift my eyes up
Jesus Messiah
Lord reign in me
No one but you
Our Father in heaven
The Jesus Way
Thank you for the cross
The Saving One
We will worship Him
Whatever comes
Your faithfulness
Your name
You never let go
You surround me
You shine

When Isaiah came down for breakfast that morning, Joyce asked him if he wanted to see what Mommy had made the previous evening. (Even though 11 year old Isaiah doesn’t talk verbally due to Fragile X Syndrome and autism, he seems to understand quite a bit). He walked into the dining room – saw the centerpiece right away and starting making ‘wow sounds’ – and pointing with his hands doing the ‘ta-da’ thing. Then what he did next blessed Joyce to the core. He went and got a place mat and put it at his spot on the end of the table. Then he sat down and pointed emphatically at the place mat in front of him. (Translation – “I want to eat my breakfast here so I can admire the beautiful thing you made Mom!”) Then he clasped his hands together and sat there patiently for 5 minutes, making more wow sounds as he admired her handiwork and waited for his breakfast to be served.

Isaiah never eats breakfast in the dining room; in our house breakfast happens in the middle of the kitchen on the island – where all the action is. The dining room is for dinner; not breakfast. And besides, Isaiah needs to eat his breakfast in the kitchen so that he can watch ‘TreehouseTV’ in the kitchen while he eats (which he does every morning!)

When I got home from working out about 15 minutes later, I followed Isaiah into the dining room where a new session of wow sounds and arm pointing ensued. There’s nothing like Isaiah’s face all lit up as he does the ‘ta-da’; making absolutely sure I know exactly what he is trying to tell me . . . without saying a word.

What greater gift is there then having your child delight in something you have made or done for them?

I am not turning 41 . . . I’m turning 45. (How did that happen?) But somehow 90 seems like a full number . . . a full life and a better number to shoot for. And I figure that as the years go on they will keep on figuring out new ways to keep old guys still ticking . . . and kicking. So that’s where I’m getting those extra eight from. Though once I get to 82 I imagine that I may be done (especially if the wife of my youth departs before me) and not want the extra 8. At that point, I doubt anyone will recall I wrote this blog in 2010 and vouched for a full 90 years and make me live the final 8 if it’s really my time to go at 82. (Just thinking about it makes me think of the funny Beatles song ‘When I’m 64’ or my more serious song from Level Ground ‘Will you love me in the winter?’)

But sitting where I am right now (which happens to be my ‘local’ . . . and because I am no longer in my beloved 2nd home of Britain, my local does not refer to a pub but a Starbucks a mile from my house) I am liking the thought of living a full 90 years. Maybe a more important thing to ponder on is not how long I have to go, but what I want to do with the ‘2nd half’ . . . which of course could only be days, weeks, months or a few years . . . I’m sure the Canadian tourists who just died this past weekend standing in the hotel lobby of a luxury hotel in Mexico had no idea they were waking up to their last breakfast! We just never know when we are going to go.

So . . . what do I want to do with the next 45? (On the eve of my birthday and on New Year’s eve I tend to ask questions like this). Here’s a few simple answers from my heart right now.

I want to know and love God.

That was number one when God grabbed my heart as a teenager, and even though I have done it imperfectly and inconsistently, it’s still number one in my heart and mind. It’s not always easy to figure out how to best do this, but it’s still front and centre most of the time. Sometimes when I hear great intellects (like listening to NT Wright today) I feel my own intellectual limitations, yet I also get totally inspired to keep working on thinking ‘God-ward’ thoughts. . . to keep pressing in with my mind and my heart to know and love God!

I want to know and love people.

This one is the other side of the same coin. I know it’s impossible to say that I love God who I can’t see if I don’t love the people around me. This one is tougher – because sometimes people are hard to love (I know I am sometimes). And so I have to face my own limitations and love those that God puts on my path in a way that is possible (and sometimes impossible, yet enabled by grace.) In this area of loving people, I am most grateful for my wife Joyce, who is such a delight to love and loves me so well, and to my four daughters and 2 sons who keep underscoring in non-musical ways that life is truly about giving and receiving love.

I want to know and love myself

What I mean by this is I need to choose daily to have the courage to do the very things that bring me life – which can be something as straightforward as serving others in simple and hidden ways . . . to losing myself in beautiful and intricate music – and to not worry whether the music that moves me is different than what moves everyone else around me. And I have to say that in this regard, it’s human music that moves me the most. Songs that tell a story in their melodic arc; and lyrics that tell story and convey truth, even if that truth is simply the pain of being human.

And I want to do all of the above in an artful and compassionate way. In a way that releases beauty and justice on the earth as an image bearer of God. I know that to do that, I will have embrace boldness and humility; two attributes that will need to remain linked for life.

May God give me grace for the next 45 (and grace for all those around me that will have to put up with me that long!) . . . and here’s hoping that I do arrive at 90 with grace and gratitude for all that happens between now and then.

The local church is not a perfect place . . . it’s a place where imperfect people find community and support for all seasons of life – and especially for the season when crisis comes (and it will visit all of us!). That’s why the patterns we establish when everything is ‘normal’ are so critical – those rhythms will help guide us as we move through the storms of people doing people stuff, and other calamities beyond our control.

I got a rare gift this weekend – a chance to spend this past weekend with Mark Buchanan and some of the worship community of New Life Community Baptist; a vibrant and wonderful local church on Vancouver Island. I learned about some of the struggles that the leaders of this amazing church are going through . . . and it made me realize again; even the best of local churches go through struggles as they pastor people. The gift of the local church is that we don’t go through those struggles alone, and if we chose to treat each other with the same grace we need, we receive gifts along the way that sustain us in our journey. I see in Mark the hallmarks of a faithful and fruitful shepherd (who has served this community for 15 years!); one who loves God with his whole heart, loves people, and does everything he can to help the people under his care know the truth that will set them free. Listening to him preach this morning I was energized once again by the truth and allegory in the gospel of John. I have always been drawn to this gospel – probably more than any other – and Mark’s words provided some of the ‘aha’ of why this gospel has always moved me.

As part of my role of being the guest worship leader, I was able to share 3 of the songs from Level Ground as part of the gathering this morning. I used ‘Welcome to the place of level ground’ as the 2nd song (after opening with ‘The River’) and then after the offering we did ‘The Jesus Way’ and then before Mark’s message (a stunningly powerful message on John 2 – Turning the water to wine) I sang ‘Enter the rest of God’ I thought it would be fitting to sing this song over this Duncan congregation – because Mark’s book ‘The Rest of God’ has been deeply impacting to me. It seems to me that this book will become a modern classic on how to recover the Sabbath rest for us moderns who seem to have lost touch with the need to rest deeply once a week . . . and maybe even more challenging for those of us whose lives are connected to serving the church and Sunday is a work day.

So now that I am on the other side of the release of LEVEL GROUND I realized again who these songs are for. They’re for faithful people like the people in New Life Community Baptist Church. They’re for people like Allan & Lynda; Conor & Loni and other friends that I have met here in Duncan who believe in the reality of the local church and are ready to serve willingly and support their pastor through the ups and downs of local church life. I thank God for them – and for all churches like New Life all over this nation of ours.

Brian Doerksen
Starbucks at the intersection of Beverly Road and the Trans Canada Highway in Duncan B.C. Sunday Sep 19, 5:30 PM

It’s an interesting threshold – too late to make any changes or improvements to the music (and there’s usually something); too late to change any of the lyrics (I groan when I think of an improvement after the song is published!) It’s too late for anything but trust . . . and surrender to the act of release. The fact that we call it ‘releasing’ an album is telling – most of us artists long to make our art perfect, and we have to come to the point when we finally release it – even if it’s the record label prying it out of our trembling hands!

So I find myself wondering . . . ‘Will people connect with these songs?’ ‘Will the truth imbedded in these lyrics awaken hearts and minds’ ‘What will people do with my transparent feelings?’ ‘Will they notice the details my friends contributed with love and skill to each song?’ I don’t know . . . and I have no control over what people will think, but thankfully I’m OK with that. I know who I am as a son of the Father, and even if I never recorded another project or wrote another song, my value is unchanged (my mentally handicapped sons underline this truth everyday – for they will never accomplish anything like that . . . but they are an immense blessing to me and that will never change!) But I’m a human being . . . so if this project is ignored or gets panned with bad reviews it will still hurt. That’s all part of this threshold – being a private person offering something up publically, and waiting for the response . . . if any.

Albums contain the essence of a season but not all seasons. They contain part of the truth (from my vantage point), but not even close to all of it. And so, sometimes us artists almost want to offer an apology even before it comes out (kind of a Canadian thing I think) . . . yet summer doesn’t apologize for being hot, nor the winter for being cold . . . so I think I need to just let my expression of this season of worship & grace be what it is. (When it comes to climate my 2 favourite seasons are not summer & winter anyway – they’re spring and autumn . . . maybe that’s another reason I wrote ‘Will you love me in the winter?)

So here we go. By this time next week, it will be done and I can find something else to wonder about.

Brian

* The Sep 14 release date is for Canada and other International countries – for my American friends you will have to wait until Feb 22, 2011 unless you are a Hosanna! Club member, in which case you will get it in early Jan 2011, or if you come to one of the Glorious events this fall, it will be available there. Or you can get it as a mail order now through the shop on my website.

At one point, the hope was to premiere it during the Winter Olympics in Vancouver in Feb 2010. However it became clear that escalating costs, challenges with housing and travel for out of town cast and crew, and a fundraising shortfall meant we needed to change our launch strategy.

But this delay gave us the time we needed to complete arranging all the songs, and rather than release a single highlights CD with 15 songs – we now had time to complete a full double recording of all 25 songs.

Beyond the upcoming album release, we are in strategic discussions on how and where we will launch the musical in front of a live audience, and as soon as decisions are made, the details will be posted here first.